I was I could tell you an emotion that come to mind when I say "It's over" but I can't because so many do. The first among them in gratitude. Gratitude for so many things.....1st and foremost isthat I had the experience of working on this show. It always scared me to do it because there are so many expectations and so many technical elements that I shyed away from it. I also knew I had to have the perfect cast and I knew filling all of those roles with people that could play them honestly and not contrived was a huge undertaking. Not every actor can pull off these roles (at least the way I feel they should be done). I guess the phrase if you build it they will come jumps into my mind. Because come they did. I know this is going to sound corny but Heavenly Father set in my lap not only people that were amazing on the stage but amazing in my life. I have learned and grown more through working with particular set of people at this particular time in my life then I ever could have imagined. My Belle and I were suppose to be friends in this life and I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to meet her and learn from her. I took more away from this show then anyone took away from me, I promise.
Second emotion-- exhaustion-- I don't remember a time in my life (aside from being a mom with a newborn) that I was so tired. I added up hours of sleep the last two weeks and we average about 16-20 hours of sleep for the week. Some nights I didn't even go to bed. I couldn't turn my brain off and the amount of work was overwelheming. Somehow (with the help of a couple of angels who showed up to help) I was able to get it done. I felt so much pressure (put on me from myself not anyone else) to match the level of professionalism and passion I was getting from my cast with the element and artistic end of things. I wanted everything to match on the same level. Everything turned out even better then I imagined (minus the confetti cannons which were pretty lame until the last two nights).
Third Emotion-- sadness-- that it is over..... I have never wanted a show not to end so much in my life. Losing the pressure was okay but to lose the daily associations and spirit that I got from these people is going to take some time to get over. We are all having a hard time letting it go. I can't listen to the CD because it is not them singing (I did however put the DVD of the show on my IPOD so I can listen to them and get them back in my head when I need too). I have made friends for life in a time of my life when I was working a little on empty in many ways and there has definately been "a change in me" to quote the show because of my associations and work on this show. I will miss them but I will try to carry what I learned from them and the show with me for a long time.
Fourth and Finally-- Relief-- that I can sleep again, my kids have a mom again, my house can get clean again, my car and be cleaned out again, my brain can think of something else again but it sure was fun. Here are some of my favorite moments from our show:
Second emotion-- exhaustion-- I don't remember a time in my life (aside from being a mom with a newborn) that I was so tired. I added up hours of sleep the last two weeks and we average about 16-20 hours of sleep for the week. Some nights I didn't even go to bed. I couldn't turn my brain off and the amount of work was overwelheming. Somehow (with the help of a couple of angels who showed up to help) I was able to get it done. I felt so much pressure (put on me from myself not anyone else) to match the level of professionalism and passion I was getting from my cast with the element and artistic end of things. I wanted everything to match on the same level. Everything turned out even better then I imagined (minus the confetti cannons which were pretty lame until the last two nights).
Third Emotion-- sadness-- that it is over..... I have never wanted a show not to end so much in my life. Losing the pressure was okay but to lose the daily associations and spirit that I got from these people is going to take some time to get over. We are all having a hard time letting it go. I can't listen to the CD because it is not them singing (I did however put the DVD of the show on my IPOD so I can listen to them and get them back in my head when I need too). I have made friends for life in a time of my life when I was working a little on empty in many ways and there has definately been "a change in me" to quote the show because of my associations and work on this show. I will miss them but I will try to carry what I learned from them and the show with me for a long time.
Fourth and Finally-- Relief-- that I can sleep again, my kids have a mom again, my house can get clean again, my car and be cleaned out again, my brain can think of something else again but it sure was fun. Here are some of my favorite moments from our show:
3 comments:
I heard such great things about the show from completely impartial people - your mom and McKell. :) I'm so bummed I couldn't see it. I love a confetti cannon and I love you. I'm thrilled it turned out so well and was such a good experience besides.
I wish so much I could have been there to see it! The show looks amazing--you are AMAZING! You inspire me. I hope we get to work together again sometime in the future.
HI Friend,
This new blog is so tender. I love the pictures. Sometimes when I do shows I never realize how amazing it looked until I look at pictures. I loved the show and more than that, I loved how it made me feel when I watched it. Thank you.
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